I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
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We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
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That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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