i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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