Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize