i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize