Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize