I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize