Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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