Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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