I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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