Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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