worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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