Dude my mom stole all your condoms
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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