At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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