this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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