Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
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You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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