He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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