i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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