you would pick up someone in the library
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When are your genitals available?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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