Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
3 2 1 whiskey
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize