If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize