i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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