i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize