wanna go halves on a baby?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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