screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize