i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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