but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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