Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It was confusing and full of hummus
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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