heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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