he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize