I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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