Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize