Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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