he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Drunk is not a location!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize