My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im holly from the hills drunk
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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