I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize