handjob tips. give me some.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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