the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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