My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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