I feel like abortions should bother me more
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
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You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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