He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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