are you still at the devil's house?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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