He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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