things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
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That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
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I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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