I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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