Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
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You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
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she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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