College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
they're like a gay fantastic four
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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