No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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