um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize