i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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