Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I didn't notice because vodka
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And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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